Page 323
July 9th, 2012

Page 323

Aw Crack, I’m so sorry… but you’re such a desperately easy butt.  I should probably look up burn care for animals, I’m not sure how the fur coat factors in.  Any vet/vet tech/zoo peoples want to share?

Had a great (hot!) birthday party for the babies.  I also found a party rentals place near us that has tons of inflatable castles and various games like sumo suits.  They’re a little young now I suppose but I’m having fun pre-planning some future birthdays!  I wonder if the twins will have more or less the same friend circles, or are we going to be in for some loud, crazy afternoons with 15 little boys hopped up on crap food and cake.

Speaking of twins, cute things in a tree!


  1. Zermel

    At least he meant good by it.

  2. Zankou

    Id assume the fur would just be burnt and fall off like how you would if you burnt your arm or head. and gay was set on fire in a chapter and he was just wrapped up,so whatever works.

  3. Vince Velcen

    Even Batteries aren’t safe around Death.
    Even if Crack was so MeloDrama about it, it was still funny.

  4. alexander B

    There is a reason it says “do not recharge”

  5. gamehunter

    OH MY…>:O

  6. rezazel

    Oh, the horror, the horror… !

    poor Crack :-(

    Death’s reactions are priceless.

  7. Hugh G. Rhekschon

    Darthvoter for my incentive vote… I lol’d

  8. Blacky Blackerson

    I don’t know who to feel more sorry for: Crack for having his hand burned up or Death for once again accidentally hurting someone and not being able to do anything about it.

  9. Sterling Rodd

    Does this mean Crack’s going to get the superpowers of a radioactive battery or something? Then he could zap things and defibrillate other bears and even recharge ba–… oh, wait. I guess not.

    It’s too bad it never occurred to either of them he could just put them down. :)

  10. Yu Huo

    Poor Crack… now he has a burned hand and STILL no batteries for his night light.

    Porr Death… now he has another episode to add to his ongoing tormentious existential angst.

    Poor Prozac… he’s probably still trying to catch up on sleep, and now he’s going to have to pick up the pieces.

    And what is Evil doing?

  11. Mort1

    Cold water. Cold water. Cold water.
    Take him to the polar bear or penguin exhibit and dump him in!

  12. kath

    Poor cracked- and poor doom!! here he thought that he had found a good use for his power!!

    Its not just a regular burn, it’s an acid burn, which distroys living tissue so that there wouldn’t be much hope of regular healing. Plus the temp of the explosion would probably damage the tissue under the pads (its not just the skin thats affeced it would have burnt through the pads which while they are tough, they don’t prevent burns.

    while water might be concidered to treat this, it actually may make it worse. Bicarbonate soda mixed with water would probaby be the best bet to counter act the acid, (baking soda) followed by a flush of water and then more, but not cold water, room temp water.

    Maggot treatment maybe. (sterilized maggots in the burn area will eat the dead tissue far more effectively than debreing, and leave the healthy tissue-) a 50/50 solution of vinagar water to prevent infection and fungus growth and while the old fashoned method of putting butter/ lard on a wound was popular, it actualy caused more damage.

    There are reasons why it says do not recharge batteries, they will explode.

    A standard dry cell battery is a zinc can filled with a paste of zinc chloride and ammonium chloride. At the centre is a graphite rod surrounded by a paste of manganese dioxide.

    The alkaline battery gets its name because it has an alkaline electrolyte of potassium hydroxide, instead of the acidic ammonium chloride or zinc chloride electrolyte of the zinc-carbon batteries. Other battery systems also use alkaline electrolytes, but they use different active materials for the electrodes.

    I have a non battery solution for Cracked. it shows how to make a fruit battery that can ligh up a light bulb.

  13. J.C.

    I like the 8th panel: “I’M MEEEELTING!!” XD

    On a more serious note, Death’s expressions tell me that he rather not have his powers (mostly Panels 9 and 10), as they seem to create more chaos than good. I like the character development that was put into Death on this page.

  14. Duez

    Why is sad Death still adorable? D:

    But yes, what a shame for Cracked, that must burn like all heck! Yowch, and also poor Death, he just wanted to help! XD Alas, such is the woes of dark mystical powers! But hey, it was worth a shot. :3 Loving this page. X3

  15. Nicole

    Ah, Death, you are a gentle soul.

    Poor Cracked!

  16. Glowworm

    Death’s face in panel 1 is so cute! 8 and 9 are adorable too. Poor Cracked though.

  17. Aephius

    character development and scolding battery juice on the same page? impressive!

  18. N0083rP00F

    … Nothing more to add on the cute front …. poor poor death …..

    Now, as for the kids party thing [also fun for grownups] if the weather is so hot, is to go with themes that involve water and getting wet and staying cool.
    I like pirates or vikings so nerf-like bludgeons, stripped T-shirts, bandanas [foam horns if vikings] and Canons/catapults loaded with water bombs – the sponge ones – less mess and reusable – make great take homes afterwards.

  19. Luka

    @Kath Oh my… I just can’t imagine Cracked with maggots in his hand, even if they were healing. His paranoia would make him impossible to live with XD

    I love Death, this page amused me greatly.

  20. Evilbob

    Sigh. I expected better from both of you, Death and Crack…

    Does no one read the labels anymore? “Warning: Do not recharge or place near fire. Battery may explode”.

    Although Crack may want to consider getting a new brand of batteries… Last time I checked, while battery juice was corrosive, they were not flammable – this particular brand seems to be extra dangerous…

  21. kath

    @Luka, I agree, poor cracked is already freaking out – but living crawling things– (shreak!!) MAGGOTS!!

    first birthday partys in this heat? eh, simple is good. Get a kiddy pool, blow it up and put about half an inch of water in it, pile everyone in, splash- repeat. while the water may feel good, most parents freak out if their kid comes home soaking wet and fired up…

    One year my great niece informed her mother that her younger sister wanted a fairy princess party. Her sister was about 2 and had not a clue what a fairy princess party would be, but her older sister of 4 and a half knew exactly what to do. The little kids had a great time running through the garden in homeade tutus and wings with tinsle on their heads.

  22. Dubael

    As a stay at home father of twins, expect different circles, in fact the more you try to get them to do the same things together the more they’re likely to differentiate by developing different interests and friends. Conversely, the more you encourage them to differentiate themselves, the possibility of having similar or coinciding circles of friends increases. Its a twin psyche thing. Happy Birthday Planning, it is always fun *smiles with fond memories*

  23. Bailey

    The animals I’ve treated have generally had lots of oral meds – antibiotics and painkillers – plus generous applications of burn cream, and of course the obligatory Cone of Shame to stop them licking the wound or biting their bandages. Wound-adjacent areas typically get clipped bald to help keep them clean. If really extensive, they’d be on a fluid drip as well due to the dehydration that comes with losing the normal skin barrier to burns, and maybe receiving an anxiolytic (animal Valium!) if needed.

    I assume Cracked would love being on antibiotics but might be less keen on the cone. :)

    Tbh though, in real life a paw being basically dipped in burning battery acid would probably result in amputation. Especially given that the acid might already have eaten through all the flexor tendons. Hurray for comic license…

  24. gamehunter

    Alison PLZ!! make Crack with superpowers of a radioactive battery :D like he can shot radioactive fire from his right arm >:P

  25. TheGnome

    And the moral of the story. Don’t use the power of death to recharge a none rechargeable battery.

  26. Taylor's Ghost

    Poor Crack? Poor death! Poor little guy. He was only trying to help!

  27. Alechsa

    Why has no one just done the potato thing for poor Crack?!?

    Also, perhaps his hand will now glow?

  28. SCC

    I feel bad for Death. It seems like he cant touch anything with out them getting hurt. Poor baby -air hugs Death-

  29. Sterling Rodd

    @Kath — Are you sure you’re not related to Crack? :)

    A fruit battery! What a shame Crack didn’t think of consulting with Gay first. …Y’know, ’cause Gay’s good in the kitchen and all. :)

    @Alechsa — I’m waiting to see if Crack develops battery-related superpowers.

  30. Sterling Rodd

    @Duez — Why is sad Death still adorable? D:

    Aristotle, St. Augustine, and Martin Luther have all wrestled with this matter (initially, philosophically; eventually, personally). One of the great ponderables of human, and ursine, existence.

  31. Mount

    This… is actually less dire that I was *expecting* from batteries full of Death Touch.

  32. Brian Hibbs

    Cack panel 7: “my bone marrow!”

    Can people (or bears) even feel their bone marrow?

    These guys just can’t catch a break, they can neither help nor be helped without someone getting hurt. It makes me think we need more Death/Crack interaction though. I find their pain hilarious.

  33. Mag

    I talked to mom about any type of burn, even if it does heal properly, the fur that was burnt will not grow back.
    Of course, acid burns are a lot worse, so I have no clue what to do. if he can feel his burn marrow getting harmed, I’d think he won’t be able to use that hand for a while, if at all.

  34. TheGnome

    I would have feared the batteries working. Light powered by death. What would decomposing light look like?

  35. Beta

    Death+Crack = Hilarious.

    Death+Crack+Gimpy = Epic

  36. Darien

    Please for the love of god if this show gets animated can Death be voiced by Steve Blum?

  37. Beta

    Whoever voices Death needs to have a deep voice. That is fact.

  38. Kira

    I finally just read all of the comics. And am now wondering why I like Gimp so much. >w>

  39. Kaldicuct

    You know, I would vote Michael Wincott for the voice of Death. If he ever got excited he has that manical thing, I differ to The Crow during his “ARE WE HAVING FUN OR WHAT” speech. Though during regular times he would have that, low momotone raspy thing going.

  40. Amy

    I literally just cried over Death’s ‘sigh’ face. He needs a hug. Badly. Poor thing.

  41. Gallows

    No, not Steve Blum Darien, and not Michael Wincott Kaldicuct. Billy Idol. He does voice acting work now and he has this great deep but emotionally exhausted voice that I picture whenever Death talks.

  42. J.C.

    @Beta (Both comments)
    Agreed. >:D

  43. J.C.

    Whoops. I failed at an emoticon. 0_0

  44. Lauren

    Poor Death. He just wanted to help. And poor Cracked. He just wanted some batteries for his nightlight.

  45. Saeed

    Pain is so funny, when it’s adorable.

  46. Lupinseesyou

    awwwww poor Death….. I want to hug him :c

  47. Golux

    Turn your hand over! Turn your hand over! Turn your hand over!

    Is the poor guy glued to some stasis field so he can’t let go of the invisible box and drop the batteries?


  48. Cam

    Poor Death, can’t truly help anyone when he can’t touch them. I admit, Crack’s outbursts made me laugh though. “MY BONE MARROW! I’M MEEEEELTING!”

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