Page 259
March 14th, 2011

Page 259

Apparently even Evil has a threshold for evil, or he’s just jealous that he didn’t think of it himself.

There was a question last update about what voices I think would be suitable for an animated version of BN and I’d honestly never thought of it.  Despite an animation background it’s been so long since I’d done any and I’ve been fairly entrenched in comics so I thought I’d leave that discussion up to you guys.

New stuff up on Shirt Woot for a ‘Magic’ derby theme.  I figured there’d be a bunch of Harry Potter themed submissions to compete with so I tried one for fun:

Plus something a little more girly as I don’t get to draw human characters very much.  There’s also a really cool “Tim the Enchanter”, or whatever his exact name was as I don’t quite remember, from Monty Python.

And I felt bad for Nerd getting a lot of abuse lately so here’s a more Nerdiriffic commission :)


  1. scribbleninja

    i found tanked!!,r:6,s:0

    (derpy looking bear)

  2. Thecaffinatedone

    well i never thought i’d see the day
    people actually want BEAR NUTS ANIMETED!!!!
    that would be awesome

    and i’d finally be able to have that job as Crack and tank (just record myself puking) :D

  3. kat

    ()_() Okay WHAT is Tanked in panel 3?!?!

  4. kat

    I meant what is he DOING

  5. Amy

    I’d say Matthew Gray Gubler for Nerd, I’m down the Lech as Patrick Warburton, Alec Mapa as Gay.

  6. corvuscorone68

    @kat i think he’s about to take a dump in there xD

  7. Sterling Rodd

    Yeah, I think Prozac must be regretting about now he didn’t take Evil’s suggesting and turn Tanked into Tranq’ed. :) Worked for Death.

    Probably not surprisingly, I’m hoping for a Book of Nerd. But I expect he’ll be the last… seven or eight years from now… since it’s hard to imagine he has any interesting back story whatsoever. He likes science fiction, computers, and low-budget fraud… there must be 30 million people like that in North America alone. :) He doesn’t seem to have any angst to his character at all prompted by things in his past… only the things his so-called “friends” continually put him through in the present (see panels 4 and 5, above). So I expect a lonnnng wait to see my guy on the cover. :)

    I’d truly LOVE to know Crack’s back story, though.

  8. Blacky Blackerson

    @Sterling Rodd: Hey, you never know. Nerd could have a increadibly deep storyline. For all we know, he could have been part of an underground animal crime syndicate and things went all wrong and changed his life forever. Also, it may be a long time before we get Nerd on a cover, but he won’t be at the end (I can almost guarantee that); that will most likely be Death, because the most complex are usually last. And Cracks backstory: got hooked, went crazy, was put in some sort of rehab, the end XD!

    @Everyone who applies: When it comes down to choosing voice actors, you shouldn’t always choose A list actors, ’cause they cost alot of money. You see, when you try to get someone like Robert DeNiro, you will have to take into account the movies they probably will be making at the time or will have to make. Frank Welker is an pretty good choice, however he should voice Tanked instead of Gimp since Tanked actually makes sound affects. And as much as a animated series would be funny, it probably won’t happen in the near future if at all. It’s rare a comic gets turned into a game let alone a cartoon. But to avoid being a downer, anythings possible.

  9. Venusfly91

    Bear Nuts seems to be getting more and more insane with time like it’s getting close to Ren and Stimpy. I like it!!

  10. NUK380Y

    I like Sterling Rodd’s suggestions for voice actors with one exception.

    Nathan Fillion should be Lech.

  11. Kitsunekage

    @anyone who cares I have said it before, and I shall say it again, I will gladly do the voice of Crack.

    Also, 58, er, 59 comments in a day? Wow, Alison, you’ve gained quite a following….

  12. JDona

    @Blacky Blackerson: Right on, though as I had noted in my previous comment (which vanished in a puff of data), I figure that if one person in the world knows what a bear in a gimp mask would sound like, it’s Frank Welker. No reason he couldn’t do both though!

    There really needs to be some sort of international lottery whose funds go toward producing awesome cultural projects that wouldn’t get made any other way: a Bear Nuts cartoon, resurrecting Farscape/Firefly, a remote siphoning device to develop new Calvin and Hobbes comics from Bill Watterson’s alpha waves, etc.

  13. Ketira

    @Jdona – good idea! After all, I would never have heard of Daft Punk if the video of “One More Time” hadn’t made the charts! So why can’t Bear Nuts do the same thing?

    Oh, and I found something for Nerd to replace his models with: –yes, it’s for real, so snatch now or find on eBay later!

  14. Zoe

    @Sterling Rodd

    Snerk. More like strong opinions against Seinfeld. Seriously, I wish someone would give ME my own television show for making dumb observations about life. Like the dryer eating socks.

  15. JDona

    @Ketira: Oh, jeez, now I’m struck with visions of little blue alien bears being abducted, painted, and dropped into a discount zoo without their knowledge. That would explain Crack if his memory wasn’t completely wiped …

    Well, until some the others appear in a Bear Nuts cartoon there is at least Misery Bear to watch (don’t know if this will work outside the UK):

  16. Mount

    I love the fact that in the last couple panels, Gimp appears to be applying the “If I can’t see him, he can’t see me” rule….

  17. Baughbe

    I like the voices put up for most of the characters. However Tanked needs a real method actor that this role. So I’m going out on a limb here and suggesting Martin Sheen.

  18. Crispy1981

    All I can think of is from the Simpsons. “No Beer and TV make Tanked go something something.” “Go crazy?” “DON’T MIND IF I DO!”

  19. Rahnee

    Huh, Harry also struck me as a mongoose…because Voldemort’s a snake-thing. He’s really cute as an owl, though.

  20. Rahnee

    I mean always, not also. Some writer I am. lol

  21. Kath

    You know, when I see Death, I hear James Earl Jones’ magnificent voice.
    Times have changed, though with anamation, and whats really interesting is that it can be done with different degrees of detail depending on the time you want to spend with it. Here is a short film called Tiny Nation, done in Second Life ( It’s worth the time to watch, and see what’s possible.

  22. Sterling Rodd

    I suppose I could live with Frank Welker doing Tanked’s occasional vocalizations, but not in any other role that had speaking lines… in which case, I would simply jab an ice pick through each eardrum and get it over with.

  23. Nicole

    I love how Death’s ears go back like a scared cat in the last panel.

  24. Sterling Rodd

    @Nicole — Weird, I’ve been thinking how much Prozac looks like a cat in panel 8 when he first glances down at Crack. But then, bears are recently closely related to cats, after all. :)

  25. Sterling Rodd

    Uh, for “recently” above, read “reasonably”, ahem. :)

  26. Wolfen

    Wow, even Evil has an evilness threshold…. and I think it just was crossed.

  27. Nicole

    Heh, Sterling. :D

    So, if panels 11-12 are representative of the four hobbits in “Fellowship of the Ring” hiding from the wraith…who’s who? :D

    My picks:

    Gimp: Pippen
    Prozac: Sam
    Death: Frodo
    Merry: Evil

  28. Sterling Rodd

    @kat — Every time I look at panel 3, I’m reminded of a joke I heard in high school:

    “Mike, use ‘William Shatner’ in a sentence.”

    “Yes, ma’am. ‘Ellen was mad ’cause William Shatner purse.'”

    If anybody doesn’t get it, understand now I ain’t explaining it. :D

  29. Sterling Rodd

    @Nicole — What about Crack? Is the he the mushrooms? :)

  30. Claire

    “They call me…..Tim?” lol
    Love Tanked’s crazy monster tongue lashing around…

  31. Kath

    Poor Tanked. You know, there were back stories to explain how Evil got that way, and Prozac- So what pushed Tanked over the edge? I would imagin it was something pretty horrid for him to be lashing out so much. But , then again, when he was drunk, they fed him most everything, and strapped him in a car and ran it into a wall, so there you go. I am surprised that the zoo keepers haven’t noticed his behavior. (rabid bear?)

    It also came to me that there is a song, “Jimmy Cracked Corn” that was written a long time ago and isn’t PC. but, we sang it as kids because we didn’t know any better. There might be other reasons why Tanked was being so- corny with Crack, but, after my work week, it eludes me. (or I am too innocrent to know those things.)

    I really really like Tanked. There was something about his trusting child like innocene that was appealing. Everyone else has an agenda except him. oh, and Crack, but he’s a bit Neurotic for my sensibilitys.

    (btw Sterling, it took me two reads to get the joke- I would say that Tank would be closer to Smeagle right now than anything, expecially with biting Prozacs finger)


  32. Nicole

    @Sterling: I didn’t really consider Crack as being in the picture, per se. I suppose he could be a previous victim of Farmer Maggot?

    Kath, if I remember correctly, Crack has a terrible fear of anything yellow. So Tanked’s really done a number on the poor guy.

  33. Kath

    while I’m reading the responses here, Nicole, your comment regarding Farmer Maggot kicked playing the chase from Farmer Maggots land, over the hill to where they discovered the Mushrooms. I associated that with “Hon, we forgot the mushrooms for the stew” (the are in the crisper drawer) These are baby bella mushrooms (yummy) that any hobbit would be happy to eat for every breakfast, lunch and supper. It being St. Patricks day, we are making Irish stew.

  34. Sum1

    Whaaaaa? So, funny, panel 2 face? .______.

  35. Rahnee

    I just realized Gimp is covering his face in panel 11. It’s really not the sort of violence he enjoys, is it?

  36. Riggamaroll

    All right, here’s my list:

    Prozac: Edward Norton (Step away from the fact that he’s been Bruce Banner, he’s got the range to play both every aspect of Prozac. The best part is that he can really go from over-the-top supportive and fatherly to raging crazy in mere milliseconds.)

    Nerd: Seth Green (It just fits, trust me.)

    Tanked: Patrick Warburton (Somebody mentioned him for Lech, but Lech just isn’t the right type for him. Especially with Tanked’s recent rampage, I think Patrick would really fit into this role.)

    Gay: Mike Barker (The voice of Terry Bates on American Dad! Flamboyant? You got it!)

    Gimp: Frank Welker (Frank’s got a range that is beyond human, and he can express himself well without words.)

    Death: Crispin Freeman (Non-fans of anime will probably have no idea who I’m talking about here. If you’ve heard his work, you’ll agree with me. If not, check it out, and you’ll agree with me. His deep voice is the very essence of “in control, but I could rip you five new holes any day of the week”)

    Lech: Neil Patrick Harris (While he has done gigs like “Rent” and “How I Met Your Mother”, we all sometimes forget his more than memorable contributions to the Harold and Kumar franchise. NPH is Lech, hands down.)

    Cracked: Steve Carell (Don’t think he’s up to it? Watch “Over the Hedge”)

    Vanity: Tara Strong (For some reason, Vanity reminds me of a much more egotistical Timmy Turner. Don’t ask why, it just happens.)

    Sloth: Bill Fagerbakke (Broadway from “Gargoyles” and, more recently and famously, Patrick Star from “Spongebob Squarepants”. Should this even be debatable?)

    Finally, we hit the hardest Bear to cast:

    Evil: Mark Hamill (While someone expressed he would be best cast as Cracked, I think his performances over the course of the past three decades have pretty much made him a shoe-in for Evil.)

  37. Nicole

    Nice, Kath! Happy St. Patrick’s day!

  38. Kellins

    third panel = priceless

  39. sneakers

    Holy terror! Poor Cracked.

    This is all Lecherous Evil’s fault.

  40. sneakers

    The shirt idea is so cute!

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