Page 902
October 16th, 2023

Page 902

Do YOUR family meetings involve crotch grabbing and merciless name calling? I’ll admit some of ours have devolved in some aspects…
Went to a pet expo with the twins yesterday and their nascent interest in snakes and geckos has blossomed to the constant begging stage. When I point out that they have TWO dogs they’re not very responsible for already and I’m not cleaning any reptile cages the noise level does die down…but it keeps coming back.

TEXT:

Lech gave him the finger and snorted, “Don’t wear pants, Idiot.” He turned to Gay and drawled, “And that idiot says he’s “gifted”. In the head apparently.” He scrambled up, braced one foot on the arm of the couch, and grabbed his crotch, “I’ll show you GIFTED Nerd!” Gay’s face took on that pinched/appalled/about to aneurysm look and hauled Lech back down. Their whispered argument got a little louder, and cruder. Sara huffed aloud and added her own disparaging remarks about Lech’s forebears/intellect/manhood while Tanked hoovered his popcorn and Gimp got ready to help when he inevitably started choking. Nerd yelled that not everyone was even here yet and Murder started honking over the fray as Crack hunkered down and buried his head under a pillow.

Cara’s paws tightened on Prozac’s arm and he found himself leaning heavily on her, heart rate ticking up again.

Then Evil and his moronic little side kick burst into the room, eyes glossy with excitement and panting heavily. Vanity doubled over to heave in air while Evil gasped and tried to lean nonchalantly in the entry,  “Hey guys! What’d we miss?” His lips peeled back into his “innocent” grin, and Prozac’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. Evil hauled Vanity upright so he could breath properly, and stared at Nerd. “Oh, is the “Gifted One” screwing up the video portion again?”

^ 3 Comments...

  1. Mr. Casual

    Let them handle the technology themselves, and see how much they need you.

  2. Todd Maccarone

    Well, gang’s all together… But Evil and Vanity out of breath- that isn’t suspicious or anything…

  3. Cam

    Oh goodness Evil, what did you and Vanity do?

    @Alison: I work at a pet store so i understand the kids begging for pets thing. Just make sure if they’re really interested, to do lots of research, reptiles aren’t terribly hard, but they do need a bit of maintenance keeping things like temperature and humidity in check. And I wouldn’t start with snakes unless it’s a very small one like a garter snake. Geckos and bearded dragons are a bit better for starter reptiles, but know that they all live quite a while, at least 10 years of commitment.

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