January 5th, 2009
Page 39
I sometimes wonder if Tanked should have a favorite brand  of beer, but I imagine anything would do… though he’s probably partial to the harder stuff we have in Canada.  I’m more of a girly drinks person myself.  I’ve also heard that drinking through a straw gets you drunk faster… but I have no idea if that’s true.Â
Riveting commentary no? :D
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January 5th, 2009 at 12:23 am
Only reason you get drunk faster is because you can drink the booze faster. Nothing fancy or special or magical – no tasting, just drinking is what it is.
As for a favourite beer… I should recommend some Unibroue for our beloved Tanked Bear. Montreal-made Belgian stuff, very high alcohol content (8-11%). Unfortunately, Tanked strikes me as the type who would drink anything from turpentine to even Budweiser or Coors (BLEH!) to get sloshed, so the subtle tastes and quality from Unibroue would be utterly lost…
Why am I going on about beer?
I LOVE BEAR NUTS!
January 5th, 2009 at 12:35 am
no …. not Tanked Bear …. he’s sooo innocent ….. :(
January 5th, 2009 at 1:09 am
well drinking beer with a straw doesn’t get you drunk faster have tried with basic beer. But a bar bottle of Red Diesel Vodka did the trick. But it might have been because the beer was 5% alc and the vodka was 151 proof or 100% so you might get Different results ever time. I guess you’ll have to try it with a couple of different things (O-0)
January 5th, 2009 at 1:18 am
hehe, im considering all the evil he could do to tanked and actually have him notice. it’s not much ^^
January 5th, 2009 at 2:07 am
i could see Tanked as a Alexander Keiths fan. maybe Moosehead? but I’m sceptical. =P
January 5th, 2009 at 3:20 am
It’s great that Nerd isn’t stupid. This means Evil must work harder and smarter in order to wreak havoc. However, I don’t think Tanked will be much fun for whatever Evil might have in mind this time.
When it comes to alcohol, I’m a teetotaler (no, that does not mean I count the “t”s on a beer can :P). Personally, I agree that Tanked’s favorite beer is most likely the one he’s drinking at the time.
January 5th, 2009 at 4:43 am
Haha, the second and the seventh image are by far the best, love the expressions. Hopefully you’ll get that online shop up and running.. :) I would have loved to have a Tanked plushie at home.
Anyway, always looking forward to your updates, keep the great work up!
January 5th, 2009 at 5:42 am
I dont think he will waste this in drunk bear… i mean… he doesnt even need a boodoo doll to prank him…
January 5th, 2009 at 6:05 am
Drinking through a straw gets you drunk faster is true !!!
Don’t ask me how I know it … ah ah
Tanked should drink guinness one day , because it’s the best beer and also because it’s really strong ;)
January 5th, 2009 at 9:44 am
I would imagine he would enjoy Bear Whiz Beer. No that’s too easy Molson it is. And according to doctors you can get drunk faster by pushing beer up your ….backside. Not kidding, true story.
January 5th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Mickel – I hope that isn’t through personal experience :D
January 5th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Tanked looks so blissful. :)
I think I just realised why Evil has scissors. D’oh. it’s to collect a little hair, right?
Something tells me it’s probably not worth Evil’s time to mess with Tanked, purely because he might not notice. :P
January 5th, 2009 at 11:32 am
You should make it really tough on him and get him hooked on Billy Beer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Beer
January 5th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Not fond of Beer My Self. But Vodka, that’s a diffrent story. ;) And, Mrs. A, did you actually specify the Tanked is drinking Beer? Cause I was thinking that it might not be, but might be somehting special, or a Non-Beer drink.
January 5th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
The quickest way to getting drunk that doesn’t involve an enema bag is by sipping a high-proofage liquor with a spoon. Brandy, I am told, works best with this approach, but I’d bet on 151 proof rum against any brandy you want to name. The alcohol enters your system more rapidly that way.
January 5th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
@Joe BeerBaron: I couldn’t agree more on the Unibroue… in fact I think it would be very funny if he was drinking Terrible!
January 5th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
@Sopor42 – Maudite might be even more fun… Tanked Bear hallucinating a flying canoe full of lumberjacks :D
January 5th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Some of you are very knowledgeable about the most expedient ways to get drunk :) I’ve heard that if you’re dieting/fasting so your body enters ketosis (the state of losing weight) it takes very little alcohol to get drunk… so if you’re hard up for cash stop buying food for a couple days then you can spend what you saved on a few beer and get the same effect as many beer :P
I think Tanked’s a beer guy; that stuff’s probably easier to get his hands on. Perhaps one day he’ll hit the hard stuff and then we’ll know he’s in trouble.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
It would have been more amusing if Evil Bear had gotten the Picard and Leia dolls and used his new voodoo powers to force Patrick Stewart into making out with Carrie Fisher.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
now evil, tanked is just too easy. try something harder….. like the bear with the sickle….:P
January 5th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Poor Tanked… He’s totally f***ed…
January 5th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
Spend an hour or so in a sauna and then see how many beers you can drink. If you’ve been sweating a lot, you may get past two. Years ago, I worked in a foundry and after 4 hours in 100+ degree F temperatures, those first few cold ones hit hard.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Personally, I think beer tastes like Pee. but that’s just me. I’m thinking that Gay bear ends up being voodoo-ee for two reasons. One, the possibilities are endless on the funny stuff that could go down and two, reading about the header bear being generic at first then changed to the bear that is featured most in the comic arc. (don’t remember where I read it, but I am pretty sure I did.) ALSO, I think my favorite panel of this strip is panel 8. I myself am often distracted by shiny and fluttery objects while doing common tasks.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
I did read it on page 36. Im an observant one!!
January 6th, 2009 at 1:10 am
Panel two stole this strip. Completely.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:21 am
If you go out to the zoo today
You’re sure of a big surprise.
If you go out to the zoo today
You’d better go in disguise.
For every beer that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today’s the day that tanked bear has his picnic.
Sorry I just couldn’t resist.
I’ve drunk lotsa beers and alcoholic beverages through a straw… I didn’t get drunk faster…
Maybe it’s because I’m from Belgium… probably Tanked’s heaven on earth, the tiny country with over 120 breweries and 500 standard beers (in total we have over 1000 diffirent kinds of beer)
Yay belgium :p
January 6th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Eodred! That’s awesome! :D
And Kristen you are absolutely right.
January 6th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
lol, I found the best way to get spannered is to simply empty a packet or two of skittles into a 1.5 litre bottle vodka then let it stand till the skittles are bleached. I can knock back pints of that (literally) in one, it just tastes like sugary water. Within 30 minutes my eyes are glazed over and apparently I enter that vacant state Tanked spends his life in.
Taste the rainbow!
January 6th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Odd how is he talking with his mouth close?
January 6th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Ohmygosh, Tanked is going to be, like, BALD by the time Evil Bear leaves, heck Evil could make a look-a-like with all that fur. Lol. That’d be hilarious… :)
January 6th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I have just read the comment from Joe BeerBaron, why not? Unibroue.
But it’s more about the coors, I found that berk too. XD
But the way, I read this webcomic since a time and found that really good!
( sorry for my english, I speak french ( canadian-french ^^; ).
January 8th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
ThunderBird….just, ThunderBird.
January 8th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
since it seems people here like poetics to a degree i figured i would give the link to my poetry page
http://ebonyekinshade.proboards92.com/index.cgi?board=creative&action=display&thread=2&page=1
as i get new poems i will add to that page and i look forward to this webcomics next release
January 8th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
hehe~ evil is SOOOOOOOOOOOO cute!! i jsut wanna grab him and hug him…while wearing protective arm and chest gear. preferrably kevlar. yah. kevlar. ^^
tell me if i got the name wrong?
January 8th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
and Ebon? yah, your poetry is AWESOME!!! im a beginner poet myself, though i don’t know if it’s classified as poetry…none of the lines rhyme at all, but there is meter. i think. and again, love the strip. fav is the last panel, for no reason at all
January 8th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
I’d think Tank looks like the kind who would enjoy Fin Du Mond, another strong Canadian beer, by Unibroue of all things.
Though he’d ‘prolly like hobo antifreeze like axehead
http://www.40ozmaltliquor.com/archive/axehead.html
January 8th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
I absolutely love it! But is it just my computer, or is Nerdy a little bit grey-er than usual? I always remember him as purple…er…maybe it’s because of his eyes.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
when i see the straw and scissors i picture him cutting parts of the straw so when tanked bear tries to drink the beer its never is able to drink…..like a twisted cuddly version of hades from greek and roman mythology
January 8th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
as for my poetics i have been compiling them online ever since 02 in various boards, got tired of moving them alot so started my own boards, my previous poems before those didnt survive long where i live due to family issues so i decided they would be safer online…would have replied sooner but soon after i posted had to work and just got home -.-
January 14th, 2009 at 7:15 am
about that beer-backside thing how did anyone figure that out. i hope they didnt use test persons XP
scientist: shove this up your “chocolate hole” and tell us if you get drunk.
test person: this wasn’t in the contract :(.
May 13th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
When you drink alcohol out of a straw you get a little bit of air just before you get to the liquid. Now if you get bored, taste the air before you get to the liquid. It will taste like what you are drinking at the time.
The reason you are getting drunk quicker is because air goes through the blood stream quicker then liquid does.
It’s much the same theory when doing vapor shots.
July 26th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Im surprised that Tanked put the beer in a mug, I figured he’d just drink it straight from the source. It’s probably a Molson mega keg :)
July 20th, 2010 at 7:27 pm
Why does Nerd Bear have a hotdog belly badge?
October 5th, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Haha, I grew up with that straw rumour. My first booze party, I got handed something that eats right through to your liver with a pink plastic straw… anyway, isn’t it something about how when one has a straw, one actually drinks -faster-… as opposed to sipping, where you pace it and take it slowly, with a straw, most people don’t notice how much they’re drinking, slurp, slurp, slurp, hey? Where’s my drink gone? Get me another… and so the vicious cycle spins round. That’s what I was told – after various teenage rumours about oxygen intake and the magical properties of straws. Personally, I call it slightly true, but riddled with untruths – and it doesn’t really work for me. Being forced to drink most of a pitcher of cocktail in half an hour so that you can fit in the next loo router and have someone left to guard your seat – now, that’s what I call lethal. That and some weird Bulgarian beer brand…
Booze rants over, again… looove the faces, and the way the interactions are becoming cemented and natural. Very fun indeed.
October 11th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Meh, I reckon that Tanked should be drinking good old Magner’s Pear cider.
That aside, still loving this comic! The expressions are spot on.
February 3rd, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Looks like you did alot of digging. Keep on putting up more updates!
February 6th, 2011 at 2:20 pm
If I had to guess, I’d say that the old “straw” old wive’s tale, is from people seeing someone shotgun a full bottle of wine (which uses a straw, whereas aluminum can and cardboard box shotgunning just need a knife, no straw), and then been too hungover the next morning to remember what the straw was actually FOR, just that some guy the other night had used a straw, and then passed out 5 minutes later.
Because otherwise, it really makes no difference. People who flunked physics 101 seem to like to make bizarre-ass guesses (like the so-called “vapor shots”), but there’s actually going to be no difference other than how fast the booze is drunk. And shotgunning (whether with a straw or with a knife) is definitely the fastest.
May 28th, 2018 at 10:58 am
I heard that, too, way back when I was young enough to not care. (I ain’t gonna say how long ago that was but, how long have dinosaurs been extinct? LOL.)